Kitchen Survival

This post may be offensive to some but I wanted to share my stories in the kitchen. Please don’t take these stories as being ungrateful or disrespectful, but as humorous and entertaining.

As you may know from my previous post, my nickname is Tickeys-Mickeys. Some days it’s funny, some days it’s irritating.

My roommate and I have had a few encounters in the kitchen recently and at the time we couldn’t stop laughing. Where to begin?

The first story is about how I clogged the kitchen sink with a rice pudding and had to become a plumber…

My roommate does not like rice at all, so our host mom made a rice pudding thinking that Cassi would change her mind about rice. As it turned out, Cassi still does not like rice! That meant that I had to eat all of the rice pudding.

Don’t get me wrong, I like desserts but after a large meal I physically can’t fit any more food. There was enough rice pudding made to last me a week of desserts…the dish wasn’t bad but I didn’t like it THAT much.

One day while our host mom was out of the house we had a large lunch. Of course, there was a cup of rice pudding left for me. There isn’t a trash can in the kitchen, it’s either recyclable or you put the food in the compost bin. Well if I put the rice pudding in the compost bin then she would know! What to do, what to do?

I honestly considered dumping it out of the window but unfortunately there were people below eating at the cafe that we live on top of. The only thing I could do was put it down the drain! That had to be easy right?

WRONG!

I put a little by little of rice pudding down the drain. I had to dump it or she would have made me eat it again for dinner or for lunch the next day. I’m running the water to help it go down. I get the whole cup down to realize that the water won’t drain anymore!

I broke the sink! I take a kebab stick and try to snake the drain…that didn’t work. I try to run really hot water…that didn’t work. There must be a plunger somewhere! I go to the bathroom and there isn’t one to be found. Who doesn’t have a plunger in their bathroom?

There is no Spanish version of Drain-o here either. Crap! I look under the sink one more time and I finally find a plunger. Thank goodness!

I put the plunger in the sink and press down….only to create a fountain of water from a random hole on the side of the sink! You can see the small holes on the left side of the sink in the picture. I’m talking fountain! Like almost hitting the ceiling fountain!

20130701-134203.jpg

How in the world is water coming out of that hole?! I finally grab my host mom’s pink rubber gloves and cover up the hole and plunge with the other hand. The entire time my roommate is laughing hysterically at me, finishing her lunch with a show.

Finally, I get the sink unclogged and clean up my huge mess. Goes to show I shouldn’t be eating that rice pudding if it clogs a kitchen sink!!!

Turns out…2 days later…there was more rice pudding and she served it to me again. Crap.

My second story in the kitchen is about potato salad. Alright, so in the United States potato salad is normally a side dish. As it should be because it is a heavy dish since it is made with mayo. In Spain it is made with about double the mayo! They put mayo on everything here! If you’re studying nutrition like I am, you tend to steer clear of mayo, especially the full-fat-feel-guilty-just-by-looking-at-it kind.

Our host mom served us a LARGE bowl of potato salad that was made with potatoes, peas, cheese, raw onions, pickles, a bunch of spices, and about 2 jars of mayo. No exaggeration. Not only did she serve us the large bowl but there was also 2 slices of bread each with mayo and tuna, peanuts, fruit, and bread with condensed milk on it…

I wasn’t feeling good that day already because of who knows what. I didn’t sleep that night because of bad acid reflux and my stomach was not happy with me about anything. I made it about 5 bites into the potato salad and it just hit my stomach like a ton of bricks. Oh good, only 245 more bites to go to finish. I push my food around and nibble on it and look at my roommate. She was doing the same thing and she wasn’t even sick. How were we going to make it through the potato salad and everything else?

I had to take measures into my own hands. Unfortunately, there were people outside again so I couldn’t dump the food out the window. I couldn’t put it all in the empty compost bin either. Definitely wasn’t going to try the sink exit plan again!

Then my cartoon lightbulb went off! I went to the other side of the kitchen and grabbed a bread bag. That’s right. I dumped my mayo salad into a bread bag and then handed it to my roommate to do the same. After our bowls were empty I ran the bag to our room that was later put into a dumpster by my roommate. Success!

I know most of you are thinking…why not just tell her you couldn’t eat all of it?

Well it doesn’t work like that with our host mom. For instance, she came in while we were trying to eat the rest of the food and she loudly exclaimed in Spanish, “you didn’t eat the nuts?!” I explained to her that we were getting to them after the bread. Then she walked away mumbling something in Spanish.

Get the picture?

What would she have said if we couldn’t even eat the main dish?

There will probably be more kitchen adventures to come because we seem to be on a downward slope (in my opinion) with the food situation. For instance, I just ate lunch and it was cabbage and pork. Not my favorite but it’s food!

My host mom explained that I probably wouldn’t like it since I’m Tickeys-Mickeys (which begs the question as to why would you serve it to me then?). I ate it anyways but came across one bite of questionable pork that was cartilage and I nearly spit everything out onto the plate. When she saw me do that she just laughed and laughed about how I’m Tickeys-Mickeys.

In my profile I stated that I would prefer a vegetarian diet but yet I’m being served very questionable pieces of meat that she knows I won’t like. After she got done laughing at me she asked if I wanted more. When I said no, she laughed again. I think she might be enjoying me struggling through meals. If that’s the case…there will be more creative exit plans for future meals.

Game on.

2 thoughts on “Kitchen Survival

  1. BEAUTIFUL! I feel like my kids could take a lesson out of your book about being discrete about your opinion of the food that’s prepared for you! Rice was probably a bad call for a drain because it does suck up moisture so I could have anticipated the clog. Is there not a family pet you can shift the blame onto?

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